EnviroWonk - The Bush Drinking Game: A Recap

The Bush Drinking Game: A Recap

Written by Dave Loos
Wednesday, 16 April 2008
Well, that was fun, wasn't it? President Bush delivered a 2,500-word speech on the administration's climate change strategy earlier today, a Rose Garden address that included some rather optimistic goals on capping greenhouse gas emissions, along with a lot of familiar rhetoric. We'll get to the analysis of Bush's remarks in a subsequent post, but right now let's go over the all-important results from the Bush Drinking Game: Climate Change Edition. There were a few surprises, as well as a few key words and phrases that we somehow forgot to include -- "energy", "greenhouse gases" and "market" are three of the most glaring omissions. Overall though, the EnviroWonk team did a pretty good job of predicting the key buzzwords. Check out the statistics after the jump. Number of mentions for each word or phrase is in bold: Level 1: One sip of beer for each time the word or phrase is mentioned. Any form of the word "technology" -- 26 mentions, including an astounding seven times over the course of six sentences in the middle of the speech. What can we say, the President likes technology things. India -- 1 China -- 1 "Climate change" -- 12 times, though that figure is somewhat deceiving, as Bush said the phrase fives times during the second and third paragraph. It's as if someone didn't want him to forget what he was talking about. Biofuels -- 0 -- Our first stunner. We though he'd throw this in there with wind and solar. No such luck. Wind -- 2 Solar -- 2 Efficiency -- 3 International -- 6 "Carbon dioxide" -- 5 -- Actually, that's how many times he said "carbon". To be fair, "dioxide" is a big word. Oil -- 1 -- Another surprise. In fact, as Bush started speaking, we were kicking ourselves for not including "addiction to oil" on the list. Turns out we didn't need it, perhaps because the administration would prefer not to remind Americans that a barrel of oil now costs $115. Innovation -- 1 -- "Innovative" actually, but close enough. Clean -- 11 Nuclear -- 5 times, with 4 different pronunciations. Emissions -- 30 -- The big winner for the day, but only because Bush can't say "greenhouse gas" without adding "emissions." Strategy (strategery counts) -- 4 Level 2: Two sips of beer for every mention. "Good for the economy" -- 0 -- This may have been a bit too specific. Bush did say "economy" 12 times. "Developing nations" -- 5 -- "Developing world" in some cases, though we're still surprised India and China didn't come up more than once. "Steady progress" -- 0 "Green jobs" -- 0 -- We were way too optimistic on this one. In fact, Bush never said the word "green" except when immediately followed by "house." "Realistic goals" -- 1 "Clean coal" -- 2 Ethanol -- 1 EPA -- 0 -- Though Bush did mention the Clean Air Act three times and alluded to the EPA when he cited last year's Supreme Court ruling that said the agency must regulate CO2 emissions as a pollutant. He failed to mention that the administration has since ignored that decision. 2050 -- 0 Mandatory -- 3 times, and only once in a negative context. "International agreement" -- 2 -- Which makes the Kyoto references that much more surprising (see below). Europe -- 0 Ozone -- 0 Sequestration (mangled pronunciation) -- 0 -- We think he pronounced it correctly. Level 3: One shot of your favorite liquor. Sequestration (correct pronunciation) -- 1 -- Actually, he went for the smaller word with "sequester." "Scientific consensus" -- 0 -- Though Bush came real close twice, and right at the beginning of the speech when he said the "debate about climate change is intensifying," followed by "Climate change involves complicated science." He mine as well have just winked. "Cap and trade" -- 0 -- No, you don't get points because he said "trade" three times. 2010 (or "20-in-10") -- 0 -- We should have gone with 2012, which he said several times. We just like hearing him say "2010." Methane -- 0 Switchgrass -- 0 "Acid rain" -- 0 Level 4: One shot of liquor followed by an entire beer. Lieberman-Warner -- 0 -- However, Bush did allude to the Lieberman-Warner climate change bill as the "wrong way" to address climate change. "Disagreement among scientists" -- 0 -- See above regarding the "debate." "IPCC Report" -- 0 "Regulatory trainwreck" -- 0 -- Though Bush did say "regulatory" twice. Iraq -- 0 -- We thought he might say this just out of habit. Terrorism -- 0 -- This too. Melting -- 0 Level 5: Drink one bottle of wine or malt liquor. "Carbon tax" -- 0 "Global warming" -- 0 -- He said "global" 10 times, but "warming" got shutout. We are not surprised, what with the debate and all. ExxonMobil -- 0 "American dream" -- 0 Al Gore -- 0 -- If we were Bush, we'd say his name in every speech, followed by the half-grin and Texas chuckle. "Kyoto Protocol" -- 4 -- Which means if you followed the rules, you are currently passed out. Perhaps we should have added "in a positive context," because then you would still be sober. "Polar bears" -- 0 Level 6 (a.k.a. “Bush in his ‘youthful’ years”): Buy a keg and do not leave the house until all beer is consumed. "An Inconvenient Truth" -- 0 -- We thought he might turn this phrase around on Gore like Glen Beck does all the time. That might have been the wittiest thing Bush has ever done. If Bush takes out a pen and signs the Kyoto Protocol right there in the Rose Garden -- 0 We hope you enjoyed the game, and stay tuned for some less-snarky commentary on today's events, including the first ever EnviroWonk roundtable tomorrow night. Set as favorite Bookmark Email This Hits: 2825 Comments (57) Subscribe to this comment's feed Renewable written by Andrew, April 16, 2008 one item that was forgotten was "renewable" - mentioned a whole 6 times (3x fuel, 2x power, 1x energy) - they should be worth at least 2 sips each. 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